Oregon Zoo Trip

Part of the itinerary during my friend's visit these last few days was to visit the Oregon Zoo. I love this zoo! I haven't really walked around it since 2004, when I drove up to OR to visit my brother the year he lived there.

It is definitely smaller than your bigger zoos, like San Diego, but I really like the way the animals are displayed.

Here are a few we saw...










But wait! What is this animal right here? Oh...it is my husband playing with the thermal camera in the snake exhibit:

The Hostess with the Mostest...

Today my friend, Tracey, flew in for a visit from California. She'll be staying until the middle of next week.

Eric and I picked her up from the Portland Airport and we went drove downtown and ate at Jake's Grill, this beautiful restaurant in a 102 year old building. The food is great, you get to watch all of the "interesting" people walking around outside the window, and the decor is old art deco. If we had gotten married in the Pacific Northwest, this is where I would want the rehearsal dinner to be.

Then we walked around and I showed Tracey one of my favorite stores, The Real Mother Goose, which has all handmade jewelry, furniture, art and household items. I always visit that store when we go to Portland, and have never bought anything. It is kind of pricey, like the $362 sweater and the $4000 sofa table.
As our lunch settled we headed over to the malls downtown and looked for this cool do-it-yourself frozen yogurt place that Eric and I discovered a few months ago called Chef Fresh. I used chocolate mint frozen yogurt, a ton of coconut, and mini peanut butter cups. YUM.

Back in Longview, Tracey also got to visit our Fred Meyer store and see all of its goodies there. That is a fun store to show people who haven't been there. It has everything. No, really...everything.

The tiredness was starting to weigh in, so we came back, I made dinner and we all relaxed from a while. Eric and I have been watching that new show called A Gifted Man...very, VERY good. High quality scripts without the gratuitous nonsense that so many other shows feel the need to insert. I hope this show stays on for a long time.

And now I'm the only one awake! Tracey's enjoying our small, but very comfortable and well-equipped guest bedroom and bathroom downstairs and Eric is happily in Snoozeville. I'm a wind down person. I need a while of quiet time before nodding off. So I'm spending it here.

Good day, today.

Other things on the roster are church tomorrow, where I'm teaching Relief Society, and one day for the Portland Zoo and another for the big outlet mall in Woodburn, OR. Tracey leaves on Wednesday.

So we've got some fun things planned. All I have to do now is fall asleep and let the new day dawn.

Through Heaven's Eyes...

BYU's Homecoming Spectacular is coming up and Brian Stokes Mitchell, who possesses one of the best voices out there, will be the musical guest. Here is a very powerful number he did with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, Through Heaven's Eyes, from the film The Prince of Egypt--a great film. When music gives me chills, I KNOW it's good!

Home

There really is something to be said about home when you haven't been there for a while. Now that I'm back home I can really understand why Jonathan kept asking to go home during all those weeks in the hospital.

And his request was granted.

It was a little harrowing, because last Thursday his wife received a call from the hospital telling her that they were going to release Jonathan that day. Come and pick him up, they said. Oh, and by the way, he won't be able to drive for several months and will need 24 hour supervision.

Obviously this news did not set well with any of us who have been living this medical nightmare for the last 3 weeks. After getting pretty firm with the hospital, Jonathan's wife was able to get an extra day to prepare the house. The hospital also agreed to have a meeting on Friday morning with all of those people involved in his care.

10:00am Friday, while I took my little niece to her toddler music class (great fun,) my mom, Jonathan's wife, the doctor, the head nurse, the nutritionist, the speech therapist, physical therapist, social worker, and Jonathan himself all participated in a meeting to discuss the next step in his recovery. Why something like this isn't protocol with a case as serious as this, we'll never know. It should be.

They discussed his diet (he's terribly underweight,) his limitations and restrictions these upcoming months, his meds, and who will be coming to the house to monitor different aspects of his recovery.

Friday afternoon he went home. I picked up my nephew from pre-school, my mom and I gave the kids lunch, and Xander and I went to the park and grocery shopping. That evening my mom made some lentil soup for Jonathan, which I delivered, although he was fast asleep. he was sleeping more soundly than I have seen him sleep in weeks. Later I delivered the kids, who were thrilled that Daddy was home. Although I could already see the challenges that lie ahead for their little family during that 2nd trip.

On Saturday my mom, aunt, and I took a much-needed break and went for sushi and saw a wonderful production of Seven Brides for Seven Brothers at the Glendale Center Theatre. It was absolutely delightful! The chemistry between the two leads was extra good because they are married in real life.

Sunday was my last full day in California. And, despite the fact that it was Sunday, I decided that I had to take advantage of the fact that things had finally calmed down enough to enjoy some fun. So my cousins, Laura and Cassidy, met me at Disneyland and we had a fabulous day together. Laura and I talked and talked and talked and it felt so good to be out in the sunshine having fun after weeks of daily hospital visits, touch-and-go news every day regarding Jonathan, and constant worrying. That night I got back to my mom's house, did some laundry, packed, and collapsed into bed around 1am. Tired, but happy.

Yesterday morning we coordinated with my sister-in-law and I took Xander to pre-school. Jonathan greeted us in a friendly mood at the door. You can tell he's happy to be home, and who could blame him?

My mom and I had a nice chat in the car on the way to the airport and said our goodbyes. I am so grateful that I could be there as a support to her, but I was also really happy to be going home.

My flight was delayed 2 hours, but it was a minor setback. I reached Portland around 3:45 and gave my sweet husband a big hug and kiss! That is a long time for a married couple to be apart. And, because of the circumstances, it felt longer.

We went to have sushi (yes, we both love sushi,) drove back to town, picked up a thrilled Bailey at the kennel and came HOME. Eric had the house all clean, the towels and sheets all fresh, and the laundry all done. What a wonderful, wonderful husband.

I unpacked and looked around our house that I really love living in up here. It is so great to be back.

There is no doubt. Home really is where the heart is. Jonathan's is with his little family and mine is here with my hubby. Jonathan's recovery is far from over. He won't be able to drive for months and will be on medication for a long time. So, yes, he still needs your prayers. But, it looks like the worst is over.

A Downtown Disney Proposal....Awesome

I try to be pretty choosy about which videos I repost on my blog, and this is definitely on of the best. This morning when my husband, Eric, called me on the phone (4 more days until we're together again!!) he told me about a video that he had seen that he wanted to share. I loved it. It is a fun and sweet marriage proposal that involves a lot of creativity.

It will put a smile on your face...I promise!

A Light at the End of the Tunnel?

Xander at the Arboretum yesterday...

There have been so many ups and downs these past few weeks with Jonathan's illness, but why is it that when things like this happen we seem to focus on the "downs?'

As someone who is always doing little self-evaluations, I was thinking about that these last couple of days. I was down on the achingly slow progress that Jonathan was making, instead of acknowledging that progress was being made. I was down on my nephew being a little bit challenging instead of realizing that his life has been topsy-turvy not having his dad at home for nearly 3 weeks. And I've been down on other things that I won't mention here.

But the truth is, is that there IS a light at the end of the tunnel. The doctors seem to think that Jonathan will be able to go home in another week or so. He has been moved again (his 4th room in a week!) to the Transitional Care Unit at the hospital, which is for people who are doing better, but still need a place to heal under supervision. He's eating more than I've seen him eat in ages, and he's eating more high-calorie foods, which, at his weight, is a good thing.

I'm also seeing the end of my time here in CA. After 3 1/2 weeks here, I'll be flying back to my home on Monday, easing back into my routine of taking care of my husband, house and pets (I hope they all recognize me!)

Yesterday, after realizing that there was probably a lot going on with my little nephew that he just wasn't able to verbalize, I decided that I wanted to take him on a fun little adventure.

After picking him up from pre-school, we went and ate chicken and rice at Pollo Loco and then spent about 2 hours at the Arboretum, a place that Jonathan and I grew up visiting frequently. We fed the ducks and catfish, explored the trails off the beaten paths that led through shady areas of tropical trees, and drank apple juice and Snapple next to the big fountain. By the time we left, Xander was happy and tired, so tired that he fell asleep in the car before we could even get to the hospital to visit Jonathan. He woke up talking about our adventure and it was clear that we both needed that change of scenery.

Again and again I keep going back to all the things there are to be thankful for, not the least of which is the fact that my circumstances don't require me to work full-time anymore, affording me the flexibility to even come down here to CA for these 3 weeks. A year and a half ago this would've been out of the question. Isn't it amazing how sometimes Life knows things before you do?

I adore my nephew!

Jonathan...a New Phase

As my mom and I continually discuss what Jonathan and his little family are up against over these next few months, one thing we do agree on is that we have definitely entered a new phase when it comes to his recovery.

The worst is over, but there is still a long road ahead, and even Jonathan agrees that the way he processes information is not 100%. But the fact that he is conscious, has no IVs, is out of ICU and doesn't have a medical person standing by all the time shows that real progress has been made.

I kind of feel like 50% is what we have been dealing with these last 2 and a half weeks and the other 50% is what lies ahead. My ticket back home to WA and my husband and our house and pets is for 1 week from tomorrow. I didn't expect to stay this long (nearly 3 weeks,) but it was a good decision. I know my help here has been needed. I've helped babysit, change more diapers than I care to count, done a lot of laundry, walked my mom's dog, given her moral support and run many errands, on top of visiting Jonathan in the hospital almost daily.

There is a weird feeling in me as I think about returning home in a week. I will probably be leaving before Jonathan is released from the hospital. I'm hoping he will at least be transferred to the rehab floor before I go. That will show another step in his recovery.

The current question that has arisen is whether or not to do a spinal tap, or "lumbar test." The doctors want to use the results as a diagnostic tool, but Jonathan has concerns. It is his body, ultimately it is his decision.

We still have our concerns at this phase. We have concerns about what his state will be when he finally is released. There are things looming ahead that worry us that we try not to think about. If I knew 2 weeks ago what I know now about where he is in his recovery, maybe I would've waited to help during this next phase.

Again, we thank those who have visited, who have put his name on the temple prayer roles, who have sent cards and voiced their support. Thank you. Your support and prayers are still needed for a long time!

Update 4 hours later: After thinking about it for several days, Jonathan has agreed to the lumbar test. I'm really glad.

Jonathan, Part II

Time to do an update on my brother, Jonathan's, progress. I'm typing slowly and making a ton of mistakes because I'm on my mom's computer, which is almost harder than driving someone else's car...

Today is 2 weeks since he entered the hospital. This Saturday is the 2 week mark since his craniotomy. Since then we have seen some slow, but steady, progress.

After the surgery, it took another 5 full days before he even opened his eyes, Those first few days were very difficult, because the progress just seemed so incredibly slow. The first time I witnessed his eyes open was when he had a 15 second seizure--not a sight that was easy to see. 15 seconds lasted a long time.

He opened his eyes the Thursday after his surgery. Well, he opened one eye. The eye below the abscess was very swollen. His speech was very slow, and his left side was having difficulty moving. They put in a feeding tube in his nose and there was still an assortment of other tubes sticking out of him from every direction.

Despite the apparent success of the surgery, there were still many concerns...his heart rate was lingering between the high 30's and low 50's, sometimes even taking a quick trip into the 20's and a few times stopping altogether for up to 7 seconds. There was a heated debate over whether a temporary pacemaker was necessary. His blood pressure, which runs low anyway, as does mine, was lower than it should be, and we were always waiting for him to regain use of his left side--fortunately, that has recovered almost completely.

Nerves became frayed during these few days...between my mom, me, Jonathan's wife....each day was a challenge with 2 steps forward and 1 step back. The pluses and minuses could be gauged differently depending on which medical personnel we were talking to, our own moods, and individual filters of life experience.. Let's just say it isn't a time any of us care to revisit.

Then we began to see some light at the end of the tunnel. Suddenly Jonathan was able to eat real food. And not only was he eating real food, but he was eating food that he would normally never touch, like a bowl of spaghetti! Jonathan... eating spaghetti!

Two days ago they moved him out of the ICU at USC hospital. He spent about 8 hours in another room and was moved to the local community hospital late that night. He spent last night in the ICU there, not because he is in such bad shape, but because the doctors were still a little worried that he was trying to do too much and wanted to give him some extra supervision.

Last night when I went and visited him, his wife and my uncle were there. It makes me giddy to see him eating so well, even if it is hospital food. He has always been a slow eater, but he is eating everything...everything...on that tray they bring. I guess I would too if I had gone 9 days without real food.

This morning his wife took the kids for a visit, their 2nd to see their dad since this all began. Later we learned that he had been moved out of ICU at the local hospital and into another room.

This morning I went to see him on my own and was there from about 11:45 to around 4pm. It was very good and helpful to spend so much time alone with him. The speech therapist had been there earlier and the physical therapist came while I was there and walked him up and down the hall and did a few exercises in the room, like some deep knee bends. It was encouraging, again to see him eat a big meal. The doctor came in and gave us an update, although she is still waiting for the cultures from USC.

They have determined that the brain abscess was fungal, not bacterial. It could have been growing for months, which is kind of scary to think about. And he'll be on anti-fungal and anti-seizure meds for up to a year. That could mean a long, long time of not being allowed to drive, but we'll just handle one thing at a time.

The next step, which could happen as early as tomorrow, is to move him to the rehab floor, which is a place where he can continue to heal for another week or 2 and where physical therapy will be twice a day instead of once. His wife has returned to work for a few hours each day, which is good, because that she feels confident enough to not spend every day at the hospital like she did for 2 weeks.

My ticket back to WA is for October 3rd (leftover from my original plans) and it is very possible that I'll stay that long. I miss my sweet husband something awful, but it is comforting to know that he is managing things up there so well.

What a learning experience this has been. What a time of emotional highs and lows. Instead of seeing 2 steps forward, 1 step back, I see things as 1 slow step forward at a time. We are still just taking things 1 day at a time. And, although everyone is aware that some definite adjustments lie in wait for the future, we cannot bring ourselves to see that far ahead quite yet.

The prayers, emails, cards, flowers, phone calls, messages and good thoughts from friends and family have been abundant, and we are all so grateful. The news of Jonathan's illness has reached across the US to Mexico to Vietnam and we constantly feel the support of so many. Thank you, thank you.

Because the progress is slow and we are in for more transitions at the hospital, I will update again in a few days. I pray and look forward to having more good news to share as time goes on. Thank you again for those who have kept Jonathan and the rest of us in your prayers and we ask that you continue to do so. There is still a long road ahead.

Jonathan

Where to begin?

My family has had the most unexpected of challenges this week. Last Friday morning I got a call from my mom telling me that my brother, Jonathan, was in the hospital. He had been experiencing a bad headache for 3 days and, when he went to his nursing class on Thursday night, his classmates noticed that he was not well. The teacher actually ended class early and his classmates brought him home.

After some convincing, his wife was able to get him to the local hospital. By the time they got him there, he couldn't even hold a pen to write his name.

He stayed in emergency while a bed became available in ICU. After many tests and examinations, they determined that he had an abscess in his brain. My brother is 38 and a health nut, how could this happen?

When my sister in law called Jonathan's work to tell them that he would not be able to work, the head nurse that he works under asked if there was any way to get him transferred to USC medical center, because they have the best neurological department in the country. After a lot of paperwork and waiting, they were able to get him transferred on Saturday afternoon.

Meanwhile, on Saturday, I was still up at our house in WA, talking to my mom on the phone every few hours, and trying to get things in order to come down to CA. Jonathan had had a pretty violent seizure that morning and there was a time when we thought we were going to lose him. The more I heard what was going on , the more I realized that I needed to get down immediately. Not in 3-4 days, but the next day.

Saturday night Jonathan underwent a craniotomy. Meaning a small area of his brain had to be exposed to clean out the abscess, which, by then, had burst. Fortunately it did not leak into the spinal fluid. The surgeon was optimistic and said everything went well, but a long road to recovery lies ahead.

On Sunday morning I got on a plane and flew down to CA. My sweet husband, always supportive, just said to stay as long as I feel it is necessary. My mom and uncle picked me up and we went back to my mom's house where I unpacked and we ate some lunch. No visitors are allowed at the hospital for certain hours, but, as soon as they were, we returned.

Sometimes, even when you know something, it doesn't really sink in until you see it with your own eyes. That is how it was when I saw Jonathan in a hospital bed in ICU, with a bandage across the base of his forehead, a swollen right eye (the abscess was on the right side, so the right side of the face looks a little traumatized,) and different lines and IVs coming out from every direction.

We are trying to be patient as he recovers from his surgery, but it isn't easy. He still has not opened his eyes. His right eye, especially, looks very sealed shut because of the swelling. He had lost some function on his left side (because the abscess was on the right,) so his left hand (his dominant hand) is kind of curled, but the good news is that his color is looking better and last night he crossed his left leg over his right voluntarily...which is great.

He did have 2 little mini seizures yesterday, one of which happened when the physical therapist came and helped him sit up. Because of that, they hooked him up to an EEG machine, which means that now he has a turban of bandages to keep the 16 different sensors in place. There is a computer monitoring his brain activity with a camera on him, which the neurosurgeon can even see from home.

There is no doubt that the care he is getting is excellent. The nurses in ICU have only 2 patients per nurse, and they are right there for everything and great about answering our questions. They are also very diligent about turning him (as last night's night nurse said "The bed is not your friend,) to help avoid sores, phlegm build-up, and pneumonia, which are always concerns when someone is lying down for an extended amount of time.

As far as his response, he says a lot of "Mmm, mmm" like "yes" to things you tell him. The other day when the ophthalmologist came in and was trying to examine the eye that doesn't want to open, Jonathan said "I'm trying to cooperate." The night nurse that we have gotten to know sometimes asks him what the procedure is for certain things. On Sunday night, when Jonathan was running a fever of 101, the nurse asked him, "What should I do?" And Jonathan responded, "Blood cultures," which was correct.

At this point, it feels pointless to ask questions like, "How long will he be in ICU?" "How long will his recovery time be?" "Will be recover 100%?" We just have to take things on a day-to-day kind of basis.

The real question is, "How did this happen?" Jonathan is a very avid bike-rider, a vegetarian, and very thin. He bikes anywhere he can, 10 miles to work, 20 miles to school, 30 miles into the mountains. There is a possibility that the abscess originated in his sinuses from breathing in dirt and pollution during those very vigorous bike rides. When an abscess begins, it starts to travel to the heart or brain. His traveled to the brain.

It is ironic that when we think of spending so much time on the bike we worry about traffic and weather. There is no way we ever would've guessed that something like this could happen.

We are praying for a complete recovery. His wife needs him, his two little kids need their dad.

The hospital staff has told us that sometimes in cases like this, things seem to get worse before they get better. So, despite that fact that the swelling, fever, even the seizures seem very alarming, they are still within the normal range of things that can happen when someone has had a surgery for this condition.

The outpouring of support we have received has been amazing. We have gotten calls from friends and family in the US, Mexico and Vietnam. His name is on the temple prayer lists in CA, WA and UT. All of this is greatly appreciated.

Right now the only people allowed to visit are immediate family, but we feel the love and support from so many.

Please keep him in your prayers. I'll update in a few days.

Rolling in the Deep...

Seems like there have been some great musical postings out there lately. This is a group out of St. George, UT called The Piano Guys. Using a piano and cello as their main instruments, they do awesome covers of popular songs.

This is Adele's Rolling in the Deep. Very cool. First you will need to scroll to the bottom of the blog and pause the song on the player.

Can Anybody Find Me....

Somebody to Love...

Everyone is going crazy with the Freddie Mercury tributes all over the net today because, if he was alive, FM would be 65 today. One of our favorite YouTube entertainers, a musician/comic who calls himself Nice Peter, did a great tribute using my favorite song by Queen.

It's pretty impressive and a lot of fun to watch, but you will need to scroll to the very bottom of my blog first and pause the music that plays so that it doesn't play over the video.

Enjoy! We love this guy.

P.S. Love the "fish tank" t-shirt. ;)

Thinking about church today...

As usual, church was pretty great today. I kept on *almost* getting up to bear my testimony, but everyone else beat me who actually did get up. At one point I even found myself getting emotional during one lady's testimony. I never do that.

Several people who got up are converts to the church. And a lady who is a very recent convert talked about how it feels like many people in her family are suddenly in the grips of darkness and challenges.

Her words got me thinking about when my mom, brother and I joined the church back in 1986. It seemed like everyone around us had an opinion about our decision. A neighbor came and tried to persuade my mom not to go through with joining the Mormon church. The mother of one of my classmates did the same thing. And one of my mom's best friends said her piece too. The biggest challenge was the hurt it caused my grandpa, who had raised his 4 kids Catholic. My grandparents lived around the corner from us and suddenly my grandpa barely said 2 words to my mom for 2-3 years. Thank goodness he finally came around.

But I started to think about the bad dude...Satan. For one so powerful, he sure goes into a tailspin when someone is trying to get closer to God. He panics, and starts injecting his dark influence in the most unlikely, but also the most personal of ways. Up until about an hour before we got baptized it seemed like my mom was having to defend her decision to a friend or family member.

But we did it. And I'm glad we did. As I get wiser in my old age, I realize that, although peopleare flawed, there are some things that are not. And every time we humble ourselves and remember where we come from and what lies in store for us after we die, we get a little closer to greatness.

Satan wouldn't react the way he does unless he feels threatened, and, despite all of the craziness that is happening in the world today, there are a lot of good people and great works happening too. The challenge is to stay focused on what is right and remember that there is a larger, eternal plan at work.

What a comfort to know that!

Recent Adventures...

As I wrote to my grandma yesterday, I explained that life is a lot quieter now that I'm living up in WA and not teaching. Southern CA is always full of hustle and bustle and teaching school always has drama and excitement. And, although I love my new life, it doesn't always make for the most blazing hot letters and blog entries.

But, sometimes you have to go and find the excitement.

On Friday, August 26th, Eric and I had tickets to go and see Josh Groban perform at the Rose Garden in Portland. It is the city's big indoor stadium, like the Staples Center in So. CA. We were in the 29th row on the floor. But we had a treat! There was a mini stage just a few feet away from us and he started the show there! I didn't take this video, because this is a New Orleans show, but this is about how close we were:


It was my 4th time seeing him in concert, but I've never been this close before. Security allowed those of us with floor seats to stand right at the edge of the mini stage and for a good 1/3 of the concert I was about 5 feet away from him. That was awesome!

The rest of the concert was a lot of fun. He sounded great, did his drum-playing bit,

answered questions from the audience, and even sang "Happy Birthday" with a girl from the audience (she sounded good!) He also brought an older couple up on stage for about half an hour and just really interacted well with the audience. It has been a few years since I've seen him live and he has really grown as a performer. Eric had a good time too. We drove home, made a midnight burger run, and got to sleep a little after 1am.

Since Eric took a couple of days off so we could go to the concert, we had some extra time for other adventures. On Wednesday we drove the 70-odd miles to Seaside, Oregon, which is the end of the Lewis & Clark trail. The drive was lovely and scenic through windy roads surrounded by huge fir trees. We also drove through Astoria, a cute coastal town with houses up on steep hills.

Seaside is your basic coastal tourist town...gift shops, restaurants, everything from seedy motels to upscale hotels, a little indoor mall with bumper cars and an arcade. One of the big attractions is the aquarium, which is really just the outer room with the sea lions and in the inner room with the tanks. You can see the whole thing in less than half an hour, but it is still fun. My brother and I went there back in 2004 when he lived in Oregon for a year. For $1 you can buy a little handful of fish to feed the sea lions. And there is always the smart one who learns that if he slaps the water and gets your attention, he'll get more fish:

(I didn't take this video either....YouTube is a wonderful thing! LOL)

And the last big news is that I'll be heading back to California at the end of the month to visit my family. Although it is kind of my mom's turn to travel up here, she wanted me to come down there. The upside of that is that I can check on my house and I get to see my cute nephew and niece. This time, though, we're doing something different. My mom hasn't had a vacation in a while (except to come and visit me,) so we're going to drive up to Carmel for 5 days. We are taking her dog, in the past we've always taken my dog, and we are driving in her car instead of mine. Hopefully everything goes smoothly. We were lucky to get one of the only remaining rooms available for those 4 nights at our favorite hotel, the Cypress Inn:


Last year Eric and I spent the day in Carmel while on our honeymoon. We stayed in Monterey, but I got to show him all of my favorite places to shop and eat and visit in Carmel.

Carmel is my favorite vacation place, so I'm really thrilled to be able to go there again. It is upscale, but everyone is so nice and most people bring their dogs. The shops and restaurants accommodate the dogs. There are mountains and trees and the ocean all in one place. You feel safe and you pretty much walk everywhere.

Recent adventures and upcoming adventures!

The Inner Light

Despite the fun things I like to post on my blog, it has been difficult not to be affected by some of the events happening in the world lately...the recent riots in England, the tragic deaths of the soldiers in that military helicopter, the famine in Africa, and, of course, our American economic troubles.

I'm one of those people who, if I allow it, can focus on the sadness of these things too much. It is a very helpless feeling to see people suffering and know that the problems are so widespread. It is also maddening to see the greed and decadence in other parts of society. Will there ever be a happy medium? Probably not. I remember feeling that way too as a teacher and having to remind myself that any dent of progress I make is a step, however small, in the right direction.

Now that I'm not teaching I need to find other ways to relieve those feelings. It is hard to find that balance of not being too affected, yet still wanting to be informed about what is happening.

I find myself having a lot of internal dialogue. One good thing about not having to work full time anymore is that I'm more available to help others. I helped a family from church clean their floors before moving a few weeks ago and I was so glad I could. And I get to be a more diligent Visiting Teacher.

Meanwhile, I also try and focus on what I like to call that "inner light" that we all possess. That part of us that contributes, either positively or negatively, to the rest of the world. What am I supporting (or not?) What am I condoning (or not?) What is my tolerance level for certain worldly things?

No matter how small, we all contribute a certain attitude and energy to the world we live in. I'm trying to make more of an effort to contribute in a positive way.

Leave Me...a short, very poignant film

This is a complete 180 degree turn from my last post, but I had to share it. This morning I was browsing videos on wimp.com, one of the most interesting sites out there. I came across this short film called Leave Me.

It is about 5 minutes, and well worth the time. Before watching, scroll all the way down to the bottom of the blog page and pause the music.

After watching, ask yourself...how many of us would do the same thing as this man, if we could, under the same circumstance?

LEAVE ME...

We've been Mr. and Mrs. for 1 year!

Yesterday Eric and I celebrated our 1 year wedding anniversary. One year! In some ways it feels like the time has flown, and in other ways I cannot believe all that has happened in this year we've been married.

Most importantly, I cannot believe how my love for this wonderful man continues to grow and grow. It is amazing to have found someone who knows me so well, accepts and still loves me for my flaws, is so fun to be with, and who makes my happiness a priority every day. I am truly blessed, and he was definitely worth waiting for!

We wanted to do something special, different, but simple to celebrate this wonderful occasion. We heard a commercial for a supper club/lounge in Portland, OR called Tony Starlight's and did some research on it. It is, literally, a little hole-in-the-wall place that serves dinner and has a show. We decided to go and listen to a swing band called the Shanghai Woolies. The dinner was yummy and the musicians very, very good. Admittedly, I found the lead singer girl very irritating, but fortunately she only performed with them about 50% of the time and the others more than made up for it. The music was fun and nostalgic and we were seated right up front!

We had researched hotels in the area and decided to add to the anniversary adventure by staying in a 105 year-old B&B called The Lion and the Rose:
It was built by a German brewer at the turn of the century and has been operating as a B&B for about 20 years. Stepping inside was truly like stepping out of a time machine and into another era:
And, although Eric educated me on the fact that the house was not in the best part of town, it wasn't that bad. It felt a lot like the older parts of Pasadena...older, slightly run-down buildings that attract a certain bohemian element.

Our room, one of 8 bedrooms, was called the Escapade Room, which was roomy and comfortable with a tiny bathroom and tinier shower:
And we ate a nice breakfast of fruit, pastries, eggs, sausage, and blueberry pancakes in this beautiful dining room the next morning:
It was nice to not have a very long drive back home. We were back in town by 10:30 that morning, where we did some quick shopping and picked up the pooch at the kennel.

The rest of the weekend has been relaxing, watching movies, going on walks, and enjoying each other's company before Eric had to return to work today. It was a quick, but fun adventure to celebrate the wonderful day one year ago when our lives came together in this great thing we call being married. Everyone should be this happy.

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggety Jig...

This past week I went back to good ol' Southern California to spend some time with my mom, grandma, and nephew. I also checked on my house there to see how it is doing and we renewed the lease with the tenants for another year. That is a load off my mind.

I must say, that this was probably the best trip back to CA of the 3 I've taken since getting married. Every day had something fun, I wasn't overbooked, and I got to see my cute nephew 5 out of the 7 days. He even accompanied my mom to pick me up and drop me off at the airport.

On one of the days I got to spend several hours with my cousin, Laura, who was my maid of honor and who recently moved back from San Diego. We enjoyed a pedicure, along with her daughter, C., who was my flower girl. Then we went to In n Out burger and loaded up on food to take back to my mom's house. The 3 of us, my mom, and X. sat around the dining room table and talked and ate and ate and talked. OK, X. played with his remote control forklift and trucks, but the girls talked! My brother joined us a little while later with my little niece, and we talked for about 2 more hours while the kids played in the family room. It was a lot of fun.

X. and I also drove out to visit and have lunch with my grandma, who is doing great a month after my uncle was killed in that horrible car accident. We exchanged pictures to look at and enjoyed some yummy turkey and avocado sandwiches at a nearby restaurant.

My Uncle Howard at age 20, and my dad at age 16 getting ready for Howard's wedding.

X. behaved great, despite being a little contrary when it came to taking pictures with his great-grandma. He is, after all, only 3 years old. But by the time we got ready to go he was very accommodating and we got some great pictures of them together. He fell asleep on the drive back to my mom's house, but not before commenting that he thought great grandma "was a very nice lady."

My favorite nephew and his great-grandma. These are priceless!

Thursday was Disneyland with my friend, Tracey. We chose a hot, crowded day, but it was the only one she could spare from work that week. Being former annual passholders, the crowds didn't hinder us too much and we got a lot accomplished, including going on the new Star Tours after a 50 minute wait. I've never been a big fan of Star Tours because it makes me nice and motion sick (not as bad as the Teacups--or, as I call them...the Vomit Cups--but close!) I'm glad that I went on it though, because they really have spiffed up the graphics you see during the ride.

We chose a beautiful, sunny day to go to Disneyland!

I took a video of some great musicians in one of the alleyways of New Orleans Square, my favorite section of the Magic Kingdom. I also bought Eric a new sweatshirt to replace the one I accidentally shrank. Watch as the people dance through the middle of their performance. It's pretty funny...



Disneyland and the resulting tiredness was a culmination of a great week full of fun and family. I feel very blessed that Eric has assured me that I can go back and visit my family anytime I want. And, although I do not want to exhaust his generosity (or our finances,) it is nice to know the offer is there!

I have the best Home Teachers...

Last night, while Eric was on his last night of graveyard shift, I was invited to Family Home Evening at my Home Teachers' house. Steve and Diane Pond are the best Home Teachers I could ask for, and I know that it was an inspired decision to match us up.

Bro Pond did a great lesson on being cheerful, even in the midst of the depressing things around us in the world, from an article in a recent Ensign.

I just feel very blessed to have these two wonderful people in my life, and they have added to easing the transition of moving to Washington. And the icing on the cake is that they live just 1 block away.

Even with their own 7 seven children, many grandchildren, and other responsibilities, they are diligent Home Teachers who make me feel loved and looked after. They're awesome.

Sight or Sound...

I had an interesting experience this morning. After having a lingering ear infection for about 3 months, my doctor wanted me to go for a hearing test.

I sat in a little sound-proof room (supposedly sound-proof, although I could hear the distant chatter in another office) and, wearing headphones, said "OK" every time I heard a series of low-volume beeps at different frequencies. First in the right ear, then in the left--the infection has been on the left side.

After the beeps, the audiologist had me repeat back a list of words that would come through first on the right side, then the left. The volume decreased as she spoke until I could barely guess what she was saying.

The results were that my hearing is fine, better on the right than the left, but that may have nothing to do with the ear infection, which was in the Eustachian tube and was causing pressure and that feeling like you just got off an airplane.

My relief was more than I expected and it made me really grateful. Sound is so important, and, if I had to give up either sight or sound, which would I give up? I think I'd rather give up sight. Those days when my left ear was all plugged up, I felt partially cut off from the world.

Hopefully I will never have to completely give up either sense, but it did get me thinking. What would you give up?

3 MONTHS Since My Last Post? Shame on Me...

I cannot believe how much time has passed since my last blog! My only excuse is...nope, I've got nothin'. There is no excuse.

Still, a lot has happened in these last 3 months.

In April, shortly after my last post, Eric and I took a little vacation down to Salem, Oregon. We visited Willamette University, his alma mater and football stomping grounds. What a beautiful campus! The same care that I remember going into the campus at BYU, just a lot smaller. We also saw a wonderful production of WICKED. My 4th time to see it, Eric's 1st, and he loved it. The theater was beautiful, with an incredible green and white basket weave design inside. They also added to the fun by having green apple flavored drinks in the lobby during intermission. Eric got a green apple smoothie that was to die for!
In May I took a trip to California. No Disneyland adventure this time, but I did have a lot of quality time with my nephew and the trip, as a whole, was a lot less stressful. My first return to CA back in January was spent wrestling with the unemployment office (that has all been sorted out, thank goodness,) and tenants at my CA house over 2 bounced checks (also straightened out.) We also had a little family get together, which was great, because I hadn't seen my aunts and uncles and my cousin, Laura, who was my maid of honor, since my wedding last August.

I digress for a moment to point out that in less than a month, Eric and I will be celebrating our 1 year wedding anniversary. Isn't that amazing? And, if possible, I love him more now than I did then...*sigh* (happy sigh)

In June we had another CA trip planned with the 2 of us. The purpose was to attend the church wedding of my cousin, Robby, who is in the Air Force and was married 3 years ago in a small civil ceremony. The plan was to make it a big vacation...hotel, rental car, Disneyland, and any other fun that we could pack into 5 days. Unfortunately, life had other plans...

Our white kitty, Ramius, who is only 2 years old, had a dramatic reaction to a vaccine and we ended up taking him to the emergency vet the week before our CA trip. It was a 4 hour, 80-mile round trip odyssey that started at 10pm and ended up costing $300...all for a quick consultation and some under the skin fluids.
The very next day, as we were recovering from a horrible night's sleep, the washing machine died. More $$$.

The following Monday, Eric sprained a ligament in his leg and was in a lot of pain. By Wednesday (we were supposed to leave Thursday, June 9) we still planned to go, but it was not to be. Thursday morning we got up and Eric was in such pain that he just didn't think he could go. I called the airline and cancelled his reservation, and cancelled with the car rental and hotel. I thought, OK, I'll go alone and just stay at my mom's house like in the past.

The kicker came when I called my grandma to change our plans for a visit while I was down there. My dad's wife answered and alerted me of the tragic news...my dad's older brother had been killed in a horrible head-on collision the day before.

At that point I just felt all the wind go out of me. I didn't want to get on a plane. I didn't want to leave my husband. I didn't want to go through all of that. My sweet grandma had lost her remaining child. I felt so bad, but I also knew that she would need her time to grieve before wanting any company. Which led me to plan my upcoming trip next week.

Eric had taken vacation time for our CA trip and still wanted to use it, so we had to think of other things to do locally that were fun and interesting during those 12 days he had free. One of the things we did was go and visit Mount St. Helens. There are several visitor centers along the highway, but the closest one has a fantastic view only 5 miles from the mountain. You feel like you're looking right into it!
My mom came and visited last week and was here for the 4th of July, the biggest event in town. She and I went to the local outlet mall and raided the Coach store, Eddie Bauer, and the Ralph Lauren outlet where she found some beautiful bedding for when she has her bedroom redone. We also took her to Mount St. Helens, which she loved, and enjoyed the 3 days of holiday festivities, all of which take place right down the street at Lake Sacajewa, culminating in a 20 minute firework show the night of the 4th. Although, backyard fireworks are legal here, so the rockets red blare went on until nearly midnight!

See? Busy?

Other than that, life is nice and quiet. I was called to be a teacher in Relief Society at church. My first lesson is on Sunday...Lesson 35 on Obedience. I'm an over-planner, so I'm sure I have more material than I need--I finished prepping yesterday morning--but better to have too much than not enough. I'm just amazed at the church website...so much information! The last time I was a Relief Society teacher, the website didn't even exist (the internet barely existed!)

This Saturday I'm also hosting my 2nd "Ladies Movie/Karaoke Night." The first one, 2 months ago, was a rollicking success, with 12 ladies total from church enjoying a viewing of Tangled on blu-ray and a couple of hours of karaoke using our little homemade setup, plus lots of yummy munchies and a chance to relax and laugh together. We had a great time. This Saturday we're watching Emma, and it looks to be another fun night.

I'm also trying to finish the book for my book club (of which I'm now the leader!) The Forgotten Garden, by Kate Morton. A complicated story, but worth the time and effort.

Happy Summer to all! I'll try and do better about staying updated!