A week of busy days...

A few weeks ago I had a simple, but brilliant idea. I printed up calendars of July and August to paste on my kitchen cabinets. I have a calendar that I use regularly, but it is inside a cabinet. And, since my life lately has become " all wedding, all the time," I needed something a lot more visually accessible.

The secret has been my desire to pace myself. Naturally, there are appointments that I have no control over, but I also have had this enormous To Do list, whose time line I do have control over. This has included everything from getting my car serviced, to writing thank you notes for the showers, to creating the seating chart display. Things are spread out and color coded. Eric's work schedule is included, too.

Little did I know how this idea would save my sanity. By pacing myself and telling myself that I only have 2-3 things to get done each day, it has helped me to sleep better and not feel overwhelmed.

The toughest day recently was actually yesterday, when Eric called all upset with a recent setback on the houses. His house's buyer came up with a "honey-do" list of 10 things that need to be completed in order for the sale to go through. The letter was vague and overwhelming. For a few hours it seemed like a domino effect was about to happen and our dreams of the house we want would be crushed. (Happily things are better today. The letter was clarified, and, although the 10 things still exist, getting them done will not be as lengthy or expensive as originally thought.)

By last night, I was very tired and could not fall asleep. It is the only night this entire summer that this has happened. I ended up staying awake until 1am, watching DVDs of Johnny Carson's greatest Tonight Show moments. I was laughing and laughing, all alone and tired, but feeling a lot better.

Here are a few of my favorite clips:










There are so many good ones! Anyway, it was a nice, much needed escape.

Today brought more errands and decisions. We met with the florist for the final time before the big day. I made copies and delivered a flier to 35 of our neighbors informing them that there will be a lot of cars on the street on August 7th, my dog went to the groomer, I spent an hour at the art store picking out colored mat boards to display the reception seating lists, and ....... I picked up my wedding ring--all done--from the jeweler.

I quick word about my ring. Stunning. And I love the idea that it is one-of-a-kind. There are some hidden links to pictures of it, lurking in this post.

Anyway, I was humbled when I opened the box and saw my beautiful solitaire combined with an already gorgeous setting.

And, it must be said, in addition to the calendars on the cabinets and the pretty ring, I also keep my sanity by keeping my eye on the prize. I get to be married to my best friend, the person who knows me better than anyone else. No matter where we live, what I've got on my finger, etc., nothing is more important to me than that.

Thoughts on Bridal Shower #1

Yesterday I had the privilege of being the Guest of Honor at my first bridal shower! I say "first" because I am having another bridal shower this Wednesday evening.

The shower was small-- a few co-workers and a couple of friends and family, but we had a great time. My cousin, Laura, is an awesome Maid of Honor! We played 3 games and the house was decorated in purple and pink--our wedding colors.

My grandma, Elinor who is 92, got to meet her 3-month old great-granddaughter, Angelique, for the first time. Seeing her with the little ones are always treasured moments.

Alexander, my 2-year old nephew, who is being very TWO these days, had a fun time with Cassidy, Laura's daughter. After the shower they watched Curious George on the computer, played with the hose outside, dropped a bouncy ball from the top of the staircase a bunch of times, and then sat on the sofa in the living room looking at books. It was wonderful to see them bond like that. Cassidy has waited a long time for a little cousin to come along that she can play with!
All in all, it was a very fun time. Great friends, food, and time with family. Even though the shower ended at 3:30pm, my mom, Xander, and I ended up staying until 8pm. Laura and I always have catching up to do, my mom chatted with her sister, and the kids played and played. I'm glad the little ones had a lot of time together, because I need Xander to trust Cassidy when she holds his hand to walk down the aisle at my wedding in 2 weeks! They are my flower girl and ring bearer!

It was a little weird for me being the center of all that attention. I'm not used to being the guest of honor at parties. I'm usually the hostess of one of the guests. But I liked it!

After all of my friends left and it was just us family remaining, we did comment on how much we felt my other grandma's absence. At the reception we are going to have a small "memorial" table with my grandparents' pictures. They were always at every special event and it had always been my wish for my grandpa to walk me down the aisle. This is the least we can do to honor them at such an important occasion.

And...we have had some updates on the house Eric and I are trying to buy in WA:

1. Eric's house was inspected last Wednesday. We are waiting for the results.
2. The house we want will be inspected tomorrow.
3. Eric will meet with a mortgage lender tomorrow to discuss the upcoming loan.
4. The owners of the house we want will be having a big yard sale in 2 weeks. We're going to try and buy a few things, especially to furnish (or to keep furnished) that massive subterranean family room.

We love this room! It is enormous! Even that crazy carpeting is starting to grow on me.

Fortunately, as far as gifts, most people have given us very practical things, like gift cards. In our situation--trying to merge 2 houses together, move one house's belongings 1000 miles--they really come in handy.

We are feeling like things are coming together in their own way. The progress with both houses is running parallel right now. Mine is still in the paperwork stages of renting. But, overall, things are moving forward and we are feeling very blessed.

Update on the Houses...

OK, so here is what's happening with the houses...all 3 of them!

My house: real estate lady will be here this weekend to take pictures so that she can make up a flyer. My mom (who is on the title) and I will be signing the papers next week to get this baby up for lease.

Eric's house: As I mentioned, there was a single man who wanted to see it on Sunday morning. By Sunday afternoon we had an offer. Eric signed and faxed his acceptance of the offer on Monday. Today an inspector came and we are keeping our fingers crossed that everything went well. We cannot afford any major delays.

The house we want: Eric and I looked at 3 houses while I was in WA in June. The 2nd house just called out to us. I know it seems fast, but sometimes you just know. It is in a great neighborhood called the Old West Side in Longview (2305 Hudson, to be exact.) After much thought, I just couldn't bring myself to impose a 35 mile commute on Eric if we were to live in Vancouver. Not when there was another option. Our offer on this house was accepted, but now everything hinges on the sale of Eric's house going smoothly. That will start the domino effect of events. We're trying to stay rational and realistic, but we really, really want this house. Check out that crazy roof! It creates a row of skylight all along the back of the house and a high ceiling in the kitchen, dining and living rooms. Just one of many cool touches inside.
For our part, we've done all that we can do. And that's the update!

Wedding Progress...

19 days, my friends! 19 more days and I become Mrs. William Eric Cooley. We are really in the home stretch now!

I honestly have new respect for all of my married friends simply for having to go through planning a wedding. In its own en capsulized way, planning a wedding has a lot of similarities to marriage: sticking with a budget, making decisions, compromises, realizing you cannot control everything, and a wonderful payoff at the end for all of your hard work.

Our wedding is nearly completely planned. I still need to pick up my dress, get my solitaire fitted into the wedding band, have a final meeting with the florist and the DJ and the couple who will be playing live at the ceremony (violin and piano,) and the ever-important seating chart for the reception. I'm expecting a few straggler RSVPs, so I'm going to wait a few more days.

Meanwhile, I've been wrestling with the unemployment office (I still haven't seen a dime,) cleaning out closets and drawers and garage, and working to get my house rented. Sleep is elusive and fitful some nights and deep and dream-filled on others. I still find it amazing that my head hasn't exploded yet.

Today ended a 6-day visit of Eric's to CA. And the next time we see each other in person will be the week before the wedding. Tonight I've been texting my manicurist back and forth trying to get an appointment the afternoon of the rehearsal.

Menus are done, bridesmaids' dresses are picked up, groomsmen are fitted, kids' clothes are bought and ready, hair and makeup lady is booked, photographer is booked, shoes and jewelry are all bought (although I should probably spend more time breaking in my shoes.)

It's a lot!

And, hopefully, we are making progress with housing. Don't want to jinx it, but things are happening. More details as they develop and solidify.

And now I'll leave you with a video of Eric singing. After all, this is how we met...on the MySpace karaoke. I feel so fortunate that on top of being a kind, wonderful, smart, loving man, he also has a beautiful voice that I love to listen to. This afternoon, about half an hour before leaving for the airport, we had some fun with my karaoke machine. He is so good! (Do the full-screen mode. It is so much better.)

More adventures in Washington...

I'm back in WA for 10 days, visiting my fiancee and spending much needed time together and deciding together where we should live. The original plan was to move to Vancouver, but we are actually considering staying in Longview, where he lives.

My main concern has been the transition from the suburbs of Los Angeles to a small place that would take a lot of adjustment and not provide much to do. We have done some research this week and, even Eric is looking at his city of residence in a new way.

We have visited the library (impressive--great kid section,) the local historical museum, Lake Sacajawea in the middle of town, and the houses around the "Old West Side", which are very cute and closest to the lake. There are also some nice, affordable houses outside of town near the Columbia. You know, we're just doing a lot of thinking and talking.

We're also having fun. On Thursday we drove up to Seattle and dropped off Eric's Vespa for some maintenance, and then went to visit his good friends, Steve and Kristie Porter. Here are 2 videos of Eric and Steve singing in the front yard. THIS is what they do when Eric is there for a visit. These 2 are like brothers from another mother and it is fun to watch them together:



Eric singing a song that he wrote a few years ago. I love watching him play guitar and sing!


Yesterday we drove up to Steve's dad's place in Winlock, a 5 acre spread with several sheds, an adorable log cabin house, a log gazebo, and a small river running past the property. It was "Egg Day" in Winlock, a local annual holiday, and several people came out for a little neighborhood parade, egg salad sandwiches, and a BBQ at Mr. Porter's place ("Porter's Patches") later in the evening. Eric, Steve, and the 3rd member of their little group--The Sweatbox Trio--name Kai, broke out their guitars at the end of the evening and played for everyone for about an hour. They did great. It doesn't get dark in the summer here until about 9:30pm, so it is possible to enjoy the sunlight late into the night.

Today Eric had to work the graveyard shift, but we had an outing before he had to leave. Finally, finally I got to ride on his Vespa!! We packed a lunch into the little trunk, donned our helmets and eye goggles, and rode about 5 miles out of town to a beach area along the banks of the Columbia River. There were boats, people fishing, people playing fetch with their dogs, and just a nice peaceful atmosphere.

It is certainly very different from home, where everything is always go, go, go, but it is a good different.

After we had lunch, Eric offered to school me in how to ride the Vespa. His is about 6 years old and is a model called an E4 that is now discontinued. He was right, learning to ride it is very, very easy. At first he sat behind me as a passenger, and then I got to ride it myself a few times around the parking lot. The parking lot near the river was pretty empty and a great place to practice. I have to say, it is one of the most fun things I have ever done. Riding that little scooter is exhilarating!

I don't think I got it past 20 mph, but I learned about braking and turns and acceleration and signaling. We are making plans to get me one in the new few months because then I can join Eric, Steve, and Kristie P when they go riding around Seattle. I don't want to be left out! Eric's is platinum, Steve's is black with a camel-colored seat, and Kristie's is a mossy green. I like white, so that will be my color. They are so fun and well-made and very inexpensive. What a great hobby!

Here is a video of me at the beginning of riding the Vespa alone. As time went on I got more confident:


Did I mention how fun it was?! It had the same thrill as skiing or riding a horse or going down a hill on your bike.

Anyway, I am having a great time and it is a much-needed vacation after an intense year at school and before packing up my house, 2 bridal showers, and a wedding.

Our other plans include visiting Vancouver again and looking at the neighborhoods and dinner with Eric's parents and my future in-laws. Nice people. Everyone has been so welcoming when I visit up here.

And the countdown? 41 more days until we are married. We can't wait!!

Life's New Road Ahead...

Well, there is no denying it now. With school ending last Thursday and checking out of my classroom yesterday morning, that is a chapter that I have truly left behind.

The past 3 weeks have been spent doing some teaching, but a lot of cleaning out in my room, which has included giving things to colleagues, giving some things to my kids, packing some things, and throwing many things away. For now, teaching is something I'm going to leave behind.

Many have asked me, "Are you going to miss it?" That is a question with many answers. I will miss some things. I miss the satisfaction of a productive day, and I will definitely miss my colleagues and even a decent paycheck. But there are other things I won't miss, like disgruntled parents, meetings, and difficult kids.

It has not been an easy year. Two students in particular were extremely challenging and had a myriad of individual problems that caused a lot of disruption in a mainstream classroom of 32 students. We had a lot of district issues with funds being cut, 71 jobs lost (11 were rehired,) and a lot of division in the union these last few weeks.

This morning I filled out the unemployment insurance form for the first time in my life. That was weird. I'm officially unemployed. Wow. I haven't been financially dependent on someone else in nearly 20 years.

Honestly, I am extremely ready for a fresh start. I'm just lucky that there is one that awaits me.

Now that my classroom is bare and my keys are turned in, I can shift my focus to my house and the overwhelming task that lies ahead of packing it up and moving belongings, furniture, and pets 2 states away. A teacher at my school is interested in renting my house, but certain factors need to fall into place for that to happen. Several things are going to remain in limbo up until the time that Eric and I are married. Thank goodness for my future husband. He is my rock and my best friend.

On Tuesday I fly up to Washington, where we are going to drive through Vancouver, our future home. The sooner we get comfortable with the area, the better. The upcoming weekend will be spent in Seattle visiting friends (his best man and one of my bridesmaids.) I know that the 10 days I'm up north will go by very quickly.

Throughout everything that is happening, despite how overwhelming it can be, I'm very grateful for this new turn that my life is taking. With the right person at your side, anything is possible. I have definitely found the right person.

I've been PINKED.

Yes, I have joined the throng of unemployed people in this country.

Today we discovered that the 5 member school board voted 4-1 in favor of laying off SEVENTY teachers in my school district. 70, folks.

We now have the dubious distinction of being the district who is laying off the most teachers in the entire San Gabriel Valley. Yay us. Not.

For me, it is really a non-issue, because I had planned to leave after this year anyway to move up to WA after I get married. But there are others that do not have plans like that. There are 3 others at my school...1 who is divorced and a homeowner, another who has a son at Berkeley, and another who is a newlywed. 50 of those laid off are from the 2 middle schools in the district.

The district is facing a huge, huge upheaval if all of these lay offs remain intact. Upper grade classrooms are supposed to increase now to 34 students. Primary grades are going up to 25 students. Those little bungalow classrooms are going to be bursting at the seams. They are not made for more than 20 students.

Several elementary school teachers--those who are keeping their jobs--are going to be transferred to fill in the holes at the middle schools.

I am INCREDIBLY LUCKY that I'm starting a new chapter in my life (of my own choosing) right when my district is falling apart, but I feel very bad for my colleagues--all of them--and the kids. All of our hard work to raise their test scores is going to be for nothing now that class sizes are going to be increased.

What a sad, sad mess. I'm so glad to be outta there!!

Engagement Photos and a VERY Full Weekend!

Memorial Day Weekend 2010...this weekend will now have new memories for me.

Eric came down from WA last Thursday evening. We had a full agenda of things we needed to accomplish. It was so full I had even written out a little calendar for us to follow so that we wouldn't forget anything. And, yay us! Not only did we do everything we wanted to do, but we also did it ahead of time so that we could fit in some fun things too.

Friday:

• haircut for Kristie
• got the marriage license (after standing in line for an hour, going up to a little dingy window at the County Clerk's office in East LA, and watching a few couples get married in this small, pre-decorated room off to the side. I guess if you gotta, you gotta.)
• we drove to The Beckham Grill in Pasadena to check it out as a venue for the rehearsal dinner--we were so impressed with the atmosphere, the food, the service and the prices. We booked it right then and there.
• Off to Macy's to register! We had already picked out our china pattern during Eric's last trip. Now we just had to make it official.
• While we were in the neighborhood, we stopped at the Pasadena Gold Company to pick up my custom-made wedding ring. Not to sound immodest, but...WOW, WOW, WOW. It is more beautiful than I could ever imagine. 70 little 1.25 point diamonds decorate the 1cm wide white gold band, where my solitaire will rest in the middle. It is a work of art that I hope will become a family heirloom, as it is one-of-a-kind, and partly designed by me.
  
• Then a quick burger from IN-n-OUT and, at 7pm, a meeting with the bishop, who will perform the ceremony for us.

Full day?! I think so!

On Saturday we were able to relax a little more, because we accomplished so much the day before. We had a nice breakfast and then visited a nearby park as a possible place to take engagement pictures the next day. Then a trip to the market and then a relaxing afternoon having a Thorn Birds marathon.

On Sunday we met with our photographer, Nick Charrow. We drove to the park from the day before and spent an hour or so taking engagement photos. I'll post a few samples that Nick sent us. We are very pleased!!

We also stopped by and visited our florist, Matt, at The Flower Garden in Pasadena. He showed us a prototype of the centerpieces. Loved it!

Yesterday we returned to the park and brought some KFC, a blanket, a Frisbee, some UNO cards and had ourselves a little Memorial Day picnic. We got there at a great time, right before it got too busy. The weather was beautiful.

Today I had to go back to work. The final layoff decisions will be made at a board meeting on Thursday evening. So, although the day in the classroom was fairly good, the tension in the air, and knowing that Eric was at my house and I couldn't be there with him detracted from the day a bit.

After school he picked me up and we drove out to the Ontario Airport and said our goodbyes. The next time we see each other will be in 3 weeks, when I go up to WA from June 22-July 2nd. We are getting really, really tired of having to say goodbye all the time.

At least we have some great engagement photos to remind us of this wonderful weekend!

All the puzzle pieces competing for brain space...

It is strange how I can feel a chapter of my life ending as another begins. I'm feeling it a lot at school. End of year tests, looking around my classroom and deciding what to keep or toss or give away, the kids' files that require so many hours...all of these things fill my mind each day. And of course there are the day to day things like keeping the kids on task and not letting summer crazies set in quite yet.

Meanwhile, my district feels like it is coming apart at the seams. After several days of negotiations between our union and the district, they are still at an impasse on several issues. Every day the numbers change on how many teachers could possibly be let go. June 3rd is the cutoff date for the decisions. Teachers who have taught there 30 years say that they have never seen anything like this before. The tension is palpable.

RIFed teachers like myself are in limbo and waiting to see what happens with our jobs. Non-RIFed teachers are waiting to see what happens with other things. If jobs are lost, class sizes will increase. Teachers will get transferred. Everyone will suffer and the main goals--teaching the kids and getting their scores up--will be lost in the shuffle of all the politics and hard feelings.

I'm in an odd position. If this had been last year and my life and livelihood depended on that decision, I would probably be a basket case. But things are a little different for me because I'm leaving anyway. Right now I feel like I'm in my own category. I'm not retiring, I'm not staying, I'm just waiting to see how things play out so I know whether to apply for unemployment or not.

It is also interesting what this kind of situation does to the staff overall. The fighters rise to the surface, the passive ones carry on and react as things unfold. Then there are the optimists, the fatalists, and the apathetic ones.

One of our "fighters" mentioned the other day that too many of our teachers are passive. Perhaps an easy thing for a fighter to say. I thought about that. I don't really know what I am. I know I'm not a fighter. Going to meetings and rallies and passing out fliers gets me more worried and depressed about the situation. I'm not an optimist, because there are going to be layoffs. I'm not a fatalist because the number of layoffs seems to decrease slightly so there is slightly better news. And I don't think I'm apathetic because I do care about what happens to my colleagues and kids I've taught.

Again, it is an odd situation. I guess the most accurate term is that I'm a realist. I feel a little bit like a selfish realist, but it isn't out of lack of concern for what is happening, it is just that what is on the horizon for my own life is so huge and different and life-changing, that my poor brain can only process so much at a time. What is happening at school is only part of it.

SO...this is what life is like lately. Planning a wedding, planning a lifetime, planning a huge move to another state away from my family, leaving my job and colleagues, wondering what the future holds for my district, packing and leaving my house, and the day to day things like keeping my students in check and dealing with the many weeks of separation between time with my fiancee.

It's a lot. No wonder I need a lot of sleep these days.

Yet, despite it all, I still feel a lot of peace with all the life decisions I've made recently. I know there will be tears and some second-guessing, but I know it is for the best. Some changes are good, and I know that this is the good kind.

I just wish I had a crystal ball to see how everything will unfold. But what would be the fun in that, right?

Everything you wanted to know about Kristie and Eric's wedding...and maybe some things you didn't...

What's this? A new post? No way! WAY! And it is a long one, so get a snack and get comfy!

Yes, the guilt of not blogging for months finally got to me and I decided to update and give my blog a color make-over. I guess I can use wedding planning as a excuse. We're down to 2 1/2 months before the big day, so I had better use this excuse while I can!

SO many things have been happening in this little nook of Southern CA, it is hard to know where to begin. So, I'll begin with the fun stuff, the wedding plans. (Someone mentioned that I was giving everything away by showing a few pictures. I removed a few and made the others much smaller. You can click on them to see them bigger, or not. I just know that we are inviting several people from out of town who will probably not be able to come, so I thought I'd share. Whether you want to see a few things ahead of time is completely up you.)
Here is a picture of me and my fiancee, Eric, taken on Valentine's Day, as we headed to an incredibly romantic dinner at Descanso Gardens in La Canada. I love this man so much.

OK, yes, plans, here they are...with accompanying links for fun!

Date: Saturday, August 7th

Ceremony Location: My mom's garden, which she had redone last summer. Her new gazebo will be the focal point where the ceremony will take place. The ceremony will be at 4pm.

Reception Location: The Monrovian Restaurant Banquet Hall at 6pm. My family has been eating at this restaurant for years and only recently did we visit the banquet hall upstairs. It is simply lovely, all inclusive with everything we need, and perfect for the size of our wedding.

Dress: Oh, the dress, that was an odyssey. In a former post I lamented about trying to find a modest dress. I just cannot do the strapless thing, that isn't my style. After a few frustrating visits to local salons I Googled "modest wedding dresses in Southern California" and came across the site called A Dressy Occasion. What a find. The owner, Donna Anderson, runs this boutique out of her house in Orange County. I tried on about 8 different dresses, and, ironically, the one I liked the most online is the one I liked the most on me. It is just me to a tee. You can search it on the site (430-B) if you like. Eric, don't look! LOL Yesterday my mom and I drove out there a 2nd time for a fitting.

The Bridesmaids Dresses: I will have 3 bridesmaids. My 2 first cousins Laura and Monica, and Eric's best friend's wife, Kristie. (yes, we spell our names the same AND their anniversary is also August 7th. Life is funny!) Our main color is called "lapis," but it is a dark purple. I think very elegant, which is the theme I'm trying to keep throughout everything. My MOH Laura has been such a sport, trying on tons of dresses for me to see, and giving me her opinion on how comfortable they were. Finally, we picked this one as the bridesmaids dress. Happily, all of the girls are very happy with the final choice. They are going to look beautiful!
Flower girl/Ring Bearer: My little nephew, Alexander (who turned 2 on Feb 13 and is talking up a storm) will be the ring bearer. My little cousin, Cassidy, Laura's 6 year old daughter, will be the flower girl. She's thrilled with the dress we picked out for her:

Photographer: We got thrown for a loop on this one a little bit. My cousin, who is a professional photographer, was originally going to do this for us as a wedding present. After some thought he decided that he wasn't experienced enough because he had never done a wedding before. He does fashion and print ad photography. But, he did recommend a friend to us and we are very happy with the recommendation. We'll be meeting with Nick, our photographer, in 2 weeks to take some engagement photos. www.nickcharrow.com

Wedding Favors: My cousin, Dov, felt bad that he couldn't be our photographer, so he offered to bring his photo booth to the reception and let this be the wedding favors. Aside from fashion photography , he also has a business called Cliques Photo Booth, where he gets hired at parties and events for people to take fun pictures with props and friends. Eric and I picked our background, it will say something like "Eric & Kristie's Wedding, August 7, 2010" on the bottom, and guests can have their photos printed up on the spot. We can't have the reception be too stodgy!

Invitations: Despite all of the progress that has been made over the last few months, there were still 4 huge things that hadn't been done: Invitations, Officiant (we have one now,) Honeymoon, and Florist. I had researched a lot, but we needed to commit. In the case of invitations, I needed Eric here so we could make a decision. My shopping around educated me on the enormous variety of invitations, both in design and cost. Mentally, I kept telling myself "classic and elegant" over and over again to stay on track. Finally, last week we settled on this design. They should be here in a couple of weeks, and then it is time to start addressing them and sending them out! Creating the guest list was another task. We wish we could invite twice as many people, but it will be a relatively small wedding. (150 max) RSVP cutoff date is July 17th.

Florist: This decision got delayed for some reason. But as time kept ticking by and I was reading wedding books saying that the florist is one of the first people who should be hired, I felt myself getting hives because it hadn't been done yet. We finally hired our florist yesterday. Yep, yesterday! Word of mouth is a powerful thing, and the lady who is the manager of The Monrovian had given us a few recommendations of florists and wedding cake designers. At the top of her list was a floral designer named Matt, who owns The Flower Garden in Pasadena. Realizing we could wait no longer, I made an appointment with him for yesterday morning. My mom and I went and spent an hour and a half talking about what we needed, colors, and looking at pages of bouquets with pinks and purples that I had ripped out of magazines. We had no idea what cost to expect, we only knew it would be high. My mom and I almost fainted because the cost was half of what we expected, and he is going to beautifully decorate the gazebo and stay throughout the ceremony so he can transport some of the flowers to be reused at the reception. We were happy to hire him!

Music: Again, knowing the right people really helps. A good friend of my mom's from church has a sound system and does the music for church dances. He offered to do our music for us for free and will incorporate any songs we want throughout the evening. And, yes, there will be dancing!

The Cake: This is something else that had been delayed. We had some recommendations, but just had not gotten around to committing to anyone. Once again, friends came to the rescue. A lady from church who my mom has gotten to be friends with lately, offered to do the cake for us. I was a little nervous, and did not want to offend, because I had found a picture of a cake online that I loved and didn't know if this lady could handle it. But, when I sent the picture to her, she said "No problem." Whew! She's doing the cake, and for a fraction of the cost of a professional baker.

The Registry: This is tricky, because Eric and I don't really need a lot of household things. We did, however, pick out a beautiful Waterford china pattern called Padova. We are going to register at the Macy's on Lake Avenue in Pasadena when he returns for Memorial Day weekend. China, a few linens, and that is pretty much going to be the extent of the registry.

The Rings: This has been an emotional thing. After all, your wedding ring is the most special piece of jewelry you'll ever wear, right? Eric put a lot of thought and research into my solitaire, (5/8 carat, G color, VS2 clarity, round brilliant cut.) For the wedding ring he told me I could get anything I wanted (within a set but generous price) as long as we used his solitaire. Fair enough, it is a gorgeous diamond. And then the search began. Should I get a jacket for the solitaire? Should I put it into a pre-made setting? Should I buy an eternity ring to wear under the solitaire? I tried on tons and tons of rings and nothing felt just right. I don't wear a lot of jewelry, and I wanted my wedding ring to be stunning and unique. We found a jacket we liked with lower quality diamonds and had a custom jeweler recreate it with G color diamonds. It didn't work. BUT, he had a gorgeous diamond band that he had designed and made himself that I had tried on. Could he make me that design and plunk my solitaire in the middle of it? Yes. Mine is almost completely done. I have visited it several times to see the progress.

And yes, we bought Eric's ring too. But the guy's ring is easy! A nice plain white gold design for my guy. Voila!

The Honeymoon: When all is said and done, the most important thing is beginning our lives together after the wedding. We wanted our honeymoon to really reflect how much we love each other and want to be together, especially after having to endure so many weeks of separation all the time. And, although there are some fabulous honeymoon destinations around the world, we decided on something quaint and simple. A big trip to Hawaii or Europe can wait. We don't want tourist activities to compete with just wanting to spend some quiet time together. We thought about Carmel-by-the-Sea, CA, but they are all booked up that week because of some big car show. So we are heading even further north to the little seaside village of Mendocino, CA. Our first night will be spent at The Langham, in Pasadena. The next day we will drive to San Jose, CA and stop at the Winchester Mystery House, a place we have heard about and would like to visit. Then we head north for another 200 miles to our room at the MacCallum House Inn. We'll be in The Carriage House, with its quaint furnishings, and private patio with hot tub for 6 nights.

The only thing left is... The rehearsal dinner venue. Picking this is on our next list of things to do when Eric is back in town. More decisions!

THEN WHAT? After the honeymoon, the pace will pick up again. Eric has to be back at his job in WA on August 21. And I will stay behind in CA to finish up packing up my house. Yes, the plans have changed. I am moving to Washington State.

I never thought I would pack up my house and leave Southern CA, but I have decided to do that. With my job's insecurity (final layoff decisions will be made on or before June 3rd and I'm 37th from the bottom of the seniority list) and his job's SECURITY, it just doesn't make sense for him to quit and move down here. We started to rethink the original plan when I went up to WA during my Spring Vacation.

Despite the fact that I am, and will always be, a California girl, I'm realizing that "home" is really where my future husband is. He is my family now, and that has to take precedent. His house in the small town of Longview is for sale and will--hopefully!!--sell before we are married. The plan is to move to Vancouver, WA, a city 3 miles from the Oregon border. (7 miles from Portland--I love Portland! And 10 miles from the Portland Airport.) We have found a townhouse that will take all of my pets, and the plan is to live there while we house-hunt in the city. Meanwhile, if all goes well, we'll rent out my house and come back to CA after Eric retires in about 13-15 years to live in my house and look after my mom, who lives across the street.

Thankfully, air travel to Vancouver is really easy with the Portland Airport s nearby. Another plus is that I won't have to work, which I'm very ready for. The idea of being a full-time wife to this wonderful man and, possibly a full-time mother, sounds lovely.

So, to make a short story long...
That is what's happening. A lot! Happily, despite the enormous changes on the horizon, I feel really good about everything. I have a lot of confidence in everyone we've hired for the wedding, the decisions we've made on the ceremony and reception, and our future life plans. There is something to be said about getting married at our ages (39 and 42.) Life experience has taught us both a lot. We are very appreciative to have found each other and we communicate about everything.

The bottom line? Even after the dust settles from the wedding and honeymoon, a wonderful adventure lies ahead...

A must-see video--so creative!

The process of shopping for a wedding dress...

... is hard!

On Saturday I went with my mom, cousin (MOH), and aunt to begin shopping for wedding dresses. I had done some research and really did not expect to find anything at the places we were going to go to, but still wanted to get as educated as possible.

The main problem is that EVERYTHING is strapless, with very, very few exceptions. I don't do strapless. I don't do sleeveless. What to do?

A few days ago I was doing research and kept Googling different versions of "modest wedding dresses," "modest bridal gowns," "LDS wedding dresses." Even that was frustrating because I kept finding places that were either online site where you order your dress based on a little pictures, or found that there were actual locations you could walk into, but they were all in Utah.

My mom and I have even considered taking a road trip to Utah...

Then, a break in the gloom. I found this site called adressyoccasion.com.

This is a boutique run by a lady out of her home in Orange County. Yes, it will still be quite a drive, but I'd rather drive 50-60 miles than 350-700 miles.

Now that we have spent the last 2 days seeing what is out there, we have an idea of what looks good and what doesn't. which fabrics are more flattering, which waistbands, lace vs. beads, etc. It really is a learning experience.

A few days ago I made an appointment with the lady who runs A Dressy Occasion, but I made it for February 20th--2 weeks from now! After our experiences these last few days, I decided to give a try and see if she was available today, which I have off as a school holiday. YES! She was available. We're driving out this afternoon. I'm praying that I find my dress today!!

Wonderful News!

I'm engaged to be married!! I'm so happy!

Who I Am...

OK, I'm not really into the Jonas Brothers and some of those other young teeny-bop singers, but this video was on MySpace and I thought it was pretty powerful. A new song by Jonas Brother #3, Nick. It's pretty good...

The message? There is a lot more to people than what you see on the surface.


Nick Jonas and the Administration - Who I Am

Nick Jonas | MySpace Music Videos

Cathy, Kevin, and the "Haiti 80"

This is an article featuring a good friend of mine, Cathy Decker Downes, who has been trying to adopt little Benjamin (Benici0) from Haiti for 3 years. They are finally together as a family! That is them in the picture, even though the caption says "father." This is from the LA Times. I really admire Cathy and her husband for doing this! We've known each other since kindergarten.

• 
  After days of trauma, sleeplessness and anxious plans, father and son Kevin and Benicio Downes rest for a few moments in the Miami airport. Layne Downes, xx

Reporting from Los Angeles and Atlanta — A harrowing effort to evacuate dozens of Haitian orphans to the United States started with some unexpectedly good news in those first terrible hours after the massive earthquake.

Somehow God's Littlest Angels orphanage in the mountains above Port-au-Prince had survived the destructive shaking intact and all 150 of its charges were safe.

Over the next 10 days, U.S. families who were already in the process of adopting 83 of the children organized a frantic effort to bring them to Miami, reaching out to politicians, humanitarian aid workers and the news media.

On Friday, a jetliner delivered the U.S.-bound orphans to the city's international airport, uniting the children, ranging from newborns to 6-year-olds, with their adoptive families.

"I'm excited and overjoyed," said Christopher Morrow, who was watching Benicio, 21 months, until his adoptive mother's plane landed. "He leaked all over me when I changed his diaper! It's been a good day."

The so-called Haiti 80 have been issued temporary visas that will allow them to stay in the United States as their new families work out the final details of their adoptions.

They are among a number of unions of adopting U.S. families and Haitian orphans this week helped by a new policy of the State Department and Department of Homeland Security that permits expedited entry for children already in the adoption pipeline.

Several hundred Americans were in various stages of adopting Haitian children when the earthquake struck, said Michele T. Bond, the State Department's deputy assistant secretary for overseas citizens services.

Many of them are "frantic with worry about the children's welfare and they want to know how to expedite adoption so the children can be brought safely home to the United States," Bond said.

Megan Mattson, a State Department spokeswoman, said a special temporary visa, called a "humanitarian parole," already had been granted to 400 children, who had either made their way or would soon come to the United States. In comparison, 330 children were adopted from Haiti in fiscal 2009.

"Given the circumstances, that's quite an impressive number," Mattson said.

David Hubner, 36, and wife Christie, 34, traveled to Miami from their home in Frederick, Md., ready to meet their daughter Friday for the first time.

Ila, a 3-year-old, had been promised to them three years ago. If it wasn't for the earthquake in Haiti, David Hubner figured, they might have had to wait three more years.

On Wednesday, the Hubners received even more good news in the form of a call from their agency, One World Adoption Services: They would pick up Ila in Florida.

"As a Christian, I really believe the Lord did not cause this," David Hubner said, speaking of the earthquake. "But blessings really do come out of tragedies."

Other countries have chartered planes to airlift children out of Haiti. More than 100 young children were sent to the Netherlands this week, about 37 of them from the God's Littlest Angels orphanage.

Offers to adopt children whose parents were killed in the quake have been pouring in from around the globe, international adoption agencies report. But for now, new applications have been put on hold, they say.

The crisis has prompted the U.S. and Haitian governments to work on streamlining the adoption process.

But Mattson said that work remains in progress, and she could not provide details of what a streamlined system would look like.

Some of those awaiting adoption will face new headaches: Essential paperwork has been lost in the quake and courts have been destroyed. In addition, families are separated, and in some cases it is difficult to ascertain whether missing parents are dead. These factors will complicate matters when hundreds, maybe thousands, of children are identified as earthquake orphans.

In comments about the unfolding disaster this week, Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton suggested that the United States will take a cautious approach.

"We will not let red tape stand in the way of helping those in need, but we will ensure that international adoption procedures to protect children and families are followed," Clinton said Wednesday at a news briefing in Washington.

After the earthquake struck, Kevin and Catherine Downes were frantic about Benicio, the 21-month-old Haitian boy they were close to adopting.

From their home in Visalia, Calif., they used the Internet and telephone lines to begin a campaign to bring the boy and other Haitian adoptees to U.S. soil as soon as possible, Kevin Downes said.

By Wednesday, Catherine Downes had been notified by phone that temporary visas had been granted to the orphans and that the children would be arriving early Friday in Miami.

She and her husband, both 38 and Christian filmmakers, have been trying to adopt a Haitian child for three years, she said. During the process, she got pregnant with their first biological child, Nathaniel, now 9 months old.

After her plane was diverted twice because of bad weather, Catherine Downes finally set eyes on Benicio on Friday afternoon.

Exhausted, she felt "overwhelming relief," she said.

"He was in my husband's arms and sound asleep," she said from Miami.

"This little boy that we got pictures of every month is now in my arms forever."

Robby, Robby, Robby...so funny!!

We were so happy to have my cousin, Robby, and his wife, Christina with us this Christmas Eve! We haven't seen them in a year. He is the youngest of the 1st cousins and tons of fun. And, boy, what a ham!!

Here he is making us laugh and laugh with his Elmo impression...



Btw, Robby is a very accomplished young man! An Eagle Scout and a graduate of the Air Force Academy! We wish we could see him more often!

Another Christmas now in the past...

Did everyone have a nice Christmas? Ours was very good. I have to say, I'm so grateful that I am in a family where everyone really makes an effort to be together. We're far from perfect, to be sure, but we love each other and work hard to stay united and try to get together about once a month.

After working my patootie off on Wednesday and Thursday, the family started arriving around 5pm on Christmas Eve. That is something else I'm grateful for--that, aside from those in the military, we all live within 45 minutes of each other. And now that my brother and his wife have bought a house only half a mile away, even better!

Here are some pictures:


After all of the food had been eaten and the gifts had been opened, things started to wind down. We relaxed for a while, half the families went home, and I started to survey the huge clean up job that was ahead of me. I didn't care, it was worth it! We had a great time!

My mom and her sister's family decided to go to midnight mass at the Catholic church around the corner. At one time, everyone in our family was Catholic. Over the years different relatives have gone to different churches, but everyone still feels very connected with the Catholic church, and we know that my grandpa would've been happy. Early bird that I am, I stayed behind and worked furiously for 2 hours cleaning, cleaning cleaning. I got to bed around 1am, everyone who had gone to mass came back around 1:45am. I never even heard them!

On Christmas Day our little immediate family gathering wasn't until 5:30pm so that my brother could go to his in-laws and my nephew could get a good nap. But then we did our little gift exchange at my mom's and had a "breakfast" around 7pm. Hey, it's tradition! And it gave me a chance during the day to clean the house up from the previous night. Since I don't have a dishwasher and my mom has a new one, I made at least 20 trips back and forth across the street carrying dishes.

Today the house finally is taking shape and looking like normal again after the family Christmas tornado. Good thing too! Because my friend, Eric, is arriving on Monday morning for an 11 day visit! I can't wait!

Coming up on the next post....2 videos I took of my cousin Robby and his hilarious Elmo impression...SO FUNNY!!!

Christmas Tables...

Merry Christmas Eve everyone! My family will be here in little over an hour. We'll be 17 people tonight feasting on turkey, lots of side dishes, and pie. What are you going to be doing?

Yesterday I spent about 3 hours setting the tables. I've learned that a really good rule of thumb is to set them a day ahead of time.

Here are the results. Click on each picture to see the larger image:

The big table:
Little table #1:
Little table #2:

Yay! I love having pretty tables for all of my guests!

Today's Goal is DONE

It feels so good to set little goals for each day of vacation and to accomplish them. Today's goals were to finish wrapping presents, send 2 of them off to my cousin in Mississippi, and get lights up on the house. All done! Yay! And I even went and saw the Twilight New Moon movie. Yeah, it was just OK.


And, here is a before and after shot of my couch, which got a facelift last week. I wanted something as similar as possible to the original color and design. I'm thrilled with the results! Expensive, but very necessary and worth it!

Before:
After:

Day 3 of vacation...

It is wonderful to be able to plan my day around things I want to do and not around work--yay! Vacation is finally here.

I'm not as burned out as I have been in years past--I have a fairly good group of kids this year--but I'm still tired. And, as usual, a little cold and sniffles has crept up at the beginning of vacation. And, as usual, my body is still determined to keep "school hours" for the time being. (Wiped out by 10:30, awake by 5:30.) That last part I don't really mind so much. I like being a morning person. Always have been one.

One of the great things about being on vacation is that instead of cramming several things into a 2-day weekend, I can set one project per day. Yesterday I was determined to wrap presents. I really scaled back on my Christmas shopping this year. All but 2 are wrapped.

Today I need to get to the post office and mail the gifts for my cousin whose name I drew in the family gift exchange. They have to get all the to Mississippi (she's in the Air Force.) I would also still like to get some twinkle lights up outside of the house on the bushes.

If I feeling really ambitious I may bring down some of the Lenox Christmas dishes from the the top shelf of my linen closet and take inventory on what I've got. Maybe wash some tablecloths too...or maybe that last part will be tomorrow's project.

This week will be all about preparing for the family gathering at my house on Christmas Eve. Next week will be all about my friend, Eric, coming for a visit. 11 days, yay! We've got all sorts of things planned before I have to go back to work. I'm excited!