Better the devil you know...right?

So yesterday I was picking my kids (students) up from the library when the school secretary comes rushing out of the office and says that the principal wants to talk to me about next year's placement. I could feel my stomach drop. We haven't even been asked which grades we want to teach next year.

I walked like I was walking the plank and went in. Before she even said anything, I asked, "Do I get to stay at this school?" (Enrollment has been dropping in the district and sometimes teachers have to switch schools.) Answer: YES. Whew! Next question: "Do I get to stay in my room?" Answer: YES. BIG WHEW! That means I was not being switched to kinder or first grade because they are on the other side of campus. I also knew I wasn't getting the 5/6 combo that was being created for next year because someone had already volunteered for it. With the answer in the affirmative to those 2 questions, I felt like I could handle anything she threw at me.

"We need you to teach 5th grade next year," she said.

Oy.

5th grade. That's a big science year, because there is a science component to the state test in May that none of the other grades have. It also means I could get some of my kids from this year and some from other classes. This has been an unbelievably tough year--classroom management-wise--although my most difficult kids have either moved or been transferred and lately things have FINALLY settled down...

I asked the principal if there was ANYTHING else open for next year.

Yes, she said, a kindergarten class. Well that was a no-brainer, I guess I'm teaching 5th next year.

I left with my brain spinning and tried to focus on the positive. At least I got to stay in my room and stay in upper grades, where my friends are--we support each other a lot and it is really the group of teachers I have felt most comfortable with in my entire career.

I stopped by my friend, Christina's, room to tell her the news. She was out for the day and had a sub. I then stopped by my friend, Nancy's, room. She gave me some words of encouragement. I felt better. When I was almost to my room, where my kids had been taken and were being watched by one of our intervention teachers, I stopped in at my next-door neighbor, Ramona's, room. She at first sympathized because it is no secret that our 4th graders throughout the district have been a tough group, which means 5th grade next year is in for it.

Then she asked me if I was looping with my current class ("looping" means taking the entire class with you to the next grade.) I told her that the subject had not come up in the principal's office. I thought about it for a moment. Taking THIS group for a 2nd year in a row? The idea seemed unfathomable. "Better the devil you know, right?" Ramona said. She was right. I could take this group to 5th grade with less surprises, already knowing their levels, their parents, their personalities, or start fresh with a whole new group of kids.

"I think I should do it," I told her.

"If it were me, I'd tell the principal before the end of the day. Go right now, even, before you go back to your kids," she said.

I zippety zip zipped back to the office where the principal's door was open.

"I made a couple of detours back to my classroom. Actually, I haven't even been back to my classroom yet. Um...can I loop with my current group?" She must have thought I was crazy because not 10 minutes before I had told her how I couldn't believe the amount of drama this year has had.

She said she would check the enrollment and the plans of the the other 5th/6th grade teachers, many of whom loop continuously every 2 years. The current 6th grade teachers were going down to 5th grade and would be starting fresh with new kids, so, yes, I could loop.

I walked back to my classroom feeling a little better and wondering why I was feeling better when the last few months I've wanted nothing more than to have new kids.

The class was silently reading. I thanked the intervention teacher quickly and looked at my class with a new eye. These would be my kids next year. I could do it. We've learned enough about each other that we could all learn from some of the mistakes this year (of course their mistakes have included stealing, fighting, forgery, vandalism, disrespect, lying and other things.)
This may actually be a good thing. There have been times with this group that I have felt like such a failure as a teacher and in retrospect I realized how I could've done better. Now I actually could do better because I would have them again.

I brought them to the rug and eased them into the news so I could gauge their reactions.

I told them I'd be teaching 5th grade the following year. (looks of surprise, shock, some already understood that there was a possibility they would have me again and they were happy...)

I told them that that meant they might have me for a teacher again. (lots of happy reactions...OK, this was going well...)

Then I told them that they would have me for a teacher again. (there were sighs of relief, some cheering, a couple who looked at each other with raised eyebrows...)

OK, I wasn't expecting 100% happiness. They know that it has been a tough year, but they also know that they are the ones who made it that way. I explained that we were eliminating the element of surprise that many other kids have to go through on the first day of school and that the fact that we all know each other would make things easier in a lot of ways. The more they understood, the more they liked the idea. By the end there were only 2-3 who still had that "Oh, sheesh" look, but they are kids who get in trouble a lot. What they don't realize is that no teacher is going to put up with some of their shenanigans.

Overall, it went well. The news from the principal could've been SO much worse. It'll be fine.