My House is My Castle

It's been 3 days and I can still hardly believe it.  We closed escrow on my house in California. I am not one of those people who dismisses the space they live in.  I get very attached.  I know it is just a house, but when you make the efforts I make to turn a house into a home and sanctuary, letting go is difficult.

This is a house on the street I grew up on, across the street from the house I grew up in.  I thought I would live the rest of my days there.

I grew up not giving much thought to the house.  Until I had it painted and bricked it was always a light salmon pink with white shutters.  I never went into it until I considered buying it.  For most of my childhood it belonged to an older woman who lived there alone and didn't associate much with the neighbors.  It was a "kids' street" during the 70's and 80's, so an older neighbor and her house didn't hold much interest for me.

Eventually she passed away and her relatives turned the house into a rental.  Tenants came and went over the years until the owners sold it to a family.  When the husband and wife got divorced, I bought it.

There is more to the story that some people know, but I won't go into that now.  Suffice it to say, this house was my dream home, even though it isn't that big.  The inside is full of light and charm and windows letting in cheery sunshine.  Shortly after my purchase my mom and I scoured the area for moving and estate sales.  Most of the house was furnished from amazing finds that I have never seen before or since.

From 2005 until 2010 this house was my castle.  I hosted my family there many times, always taking pride in decorating it for the holidays.  When my grandparents both passed away in 2008, this was going to become the new "Christmas Eve" house.  Little did I know that I would host the holiday only once.

There are dream houses, but there are other dreams too.  And let's face it, a house, no matter how much you love it, cannot love you back.  So when I met and married my husband in 2010, a choice had to be made.  It was an easy choice, because my husband is most definitely first in my heart, but a tiny part of me stayed attached to the house, which we kept rented for 3 years.

In retrospect, everything turned out exactly the way it should.  I'm glad we held onto it for a while.  It has allowed me to distance myself emotionally from it and to accept that we have no plans to return.  Time has made me feel more at home in our house in Washington, which I really do love, with all of its quirkiness, because it is the home my husband and I found together.

Goodbye my little castle.  Thank you for those 5 years.