Monday, December 2, 2013
The Comparison Game...Just STOP IT
Oh, the Comparison Game. Why oh why do we do this?
I must admit, I'm usually pretty good about not doing it, but when I do I drive myself nuts.
For anyone who has been to my book review blog you've probably seen that I've added a lot of reviews lately in a very short amount of time. It wasn't planned, it just happened. I finished a book and reviewed it, I needed to finish another one in a short time because it was due to the library and reviewed it, I fell in love with a new series for young people and read the first 2 books in 2 days and reviewed them. Four reviews in about 5 days. That's a lot for me.
But not for other people. I checked in on Goodreads and found myself reading a review by a girl in the UK who has her own book review site (there are a lot of them out there.) So I went to check it out. Holy Moly. This site is high tech. She's got a fancy blog design, tons of followers and comments, and even gets sent free books from publishers to read and review on her site.
Cue the depressing trumpet sound...wah WAH.
I will admit that I did get some useful ideas for my humble little site, such as organizing the reviews by author and title to make them more accessible for new visitors, but then I had to give myself a little head slap. And a little pep talk.
"Why do I blog?" I asked myself?
And I answered, "To write about things I care about, when I care about them. To share experiences and how I feel about them. To have my own little corner that I can decorate, change, update, make colorful or plain, vent, brag, share, on my own timeline without caring what anyone else thinks."
There's a certain freedom in that. And freedom equals joy.
And what takes away from joy? Playing the dreaded Comparison Game.
So I looked at Miss UK's site in a new way. Don't get me wrong, it's a beautiful site, and sour grapes is not a productive way to escape the Comparison Game. But what I did do is look at it through the "Kristie filter." I looked at aspects of it that are not me, not things I would've chosen to do with it. For one thing, keeping my site simple, as I've done, gives me the freedom to add to it when I want and not feel pressured to read a book a week or be on any kind of schedule. It's a hobby, not a job, and that is one of the things that makes it fun for me.
The Comparison Game...very dangerous, no matter where you apply it.
In preparing for this post I came upon another blog, again, very impressive, called Chasing Happy. The girl who owns it has also had her battles with the Comparison Game. This is what she writes:
Comparison is the thief of joy.
Today, let's decide to stop comparing. I am me, and you are you. No one else can do you better than you. And besides, we don't know the whole story on the women we're comparing ourselves to. What's behind the scenes could make a world of difference. So enjoy who and where you are... and just. be. happy.
I love that...Comparison is the thief of joy.
No more comparing. I'm opting for joy.