Thursday, February 13, 2014

Musings on Valentine Eve

Tonight on the radio I heard about a tour bus for people with no Valentine tomorrow.  It was a night of "No-mance."  The bus was going to take people throughout Portland on a night of debauchery, celebrating bitterness. Gee, that sounds fun.

Guess what?  There is nothing wrong with not having a Valentine.  Due to unfortunate circumstances and timing, I didn't have a Valentine until I was 38.   Guess what else?  I survived just fine.  No man-hating ceremonies of burning pictures and wallowing in my misfortune.  No tears and grumbling.  It was just another day, except with more chocolate and a few cute cards from students and colleagues.

There is plenty of love to share.  Love your family, love your friends.  Most importantly--love yourself.  Love what you have to offer when that right person does come along.  If they are worth it, then they deserve a happy, whole person right back.

I've been married a short enough time to still remember what it was like to be single, to see other people's lives seem to move forward in dating, marriage, kids, etc. and wonder when it would be my turn. (For Pete's sake, my younger brother married before I did.)  It wasn't especially fun, but I stayed hopeful, operating under the credo "better single than settle."  A self-respecting person doesn't settle.  There is a timeline for all of us.  And it isn't a competition.

One thing I've learned is that when the long-term right person finally does comes along, Valentine's Day is really not that important of a holiday.  When you love someone that much, and you appreciate those small moments like making breakfast together or laughing over something silly, every day is something to celebrate. 

In the meantime, live your life and be happy.  That is a choice everyone--single or not--can make for themselves.

Happy Valentine's Day, family and friends.  Find the love and pass it on.

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